My wife who died three months ago was driving a new small silver car. I may have been there with her first and gotten out, but she was by herself at this point. I was following behind, riding in an older white Econoline van driven by a woman I’d had eyes on long ago around [...]
Kathy
Moving right along
I woke up this morning feeling different and lay there for a long time as cool air seeped in through the open window. The sun was low enough for me to see it shining on the wall with squinting eyes. So quiet on the hillside. No barking dogs, no vehicles, no one shouting in the [...]
How I got to now
[NOTE: Originally published 6-19-2021 at Substack] I hardly cried at all on Monday, even made the bed without a hitch. Didn’t know whether to be ashamed or let myself feel good. Just now I picked up her driver’s license and stared at that beautiful smile. The things you don’t know coming down the pike, oh [...]
Northwest across the gorges from Rift Valley Trail
The energy here is impossible to grasp. Tectonic plates oh so slowly sliding past each other on a bed of magma miles beneath your feet. How can one be sure of anything that’s merely human? I’m still incredulous. She can’t be gone and yet where is she? I go to bed, turn out the light, [...]
Ask me if I know those feet (amost 20 years ago in Arroyo Seco)
Gone now 50 days. Until Wednesday afternoon, I still couldn’t call Verizon to cancel her phone. Shutting it down felt like having her die all over again. The love’s still roaring out and rending body parts. We goddamn did it though, you know? I’m proud. Do you hear what I’m saying? My hand fits perfectly [...]
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