“We have to find a house!” she said. “If we don’t move, we’re going to die…” That’s the stage we’re at now, very handy for focusing the mind. I knew precisely what she meant. The meanness and tension alone would do the trick, accumulated hits that break you just for being here at all.
Take a look at my truck. A hydraulic line ruptured while it was just sitting there, apparently. As soon as I backed it out the other day, I had no pedal pressure. Getting the F-150 turned around 100 yards down the twisty narrow road was interesting but I did, and where you see it is where it stays until I give the thing away. We’ve been a lot of places, that truck and I, but this is where the story ends, down a muddy old road with a dark ancient vibe. Shamans’ curses and bulldozed sacred spots. Subliminal sadness. Suffering without cause. A trick, a metaphor that binds you to a fate, or perhaps the ghosts are trapped and want the company.
This is the strangest Christmas. Send me wings or gasoline, and pumpkin pie.
John Hamilton Farr lives at 7,000 feet in Ranchos de Taos, New Mexico, U.S.A. As New York Times best-selling author James C. Moore tells it, John is “a man attuned to the world who sees it differently than you and I and writes about it with a language and a vision of life that is impossible to ignore.” This JHFARR.COM site is the master writing archive. To email John, please see CONTACT INFO on .png)
somehow those old trucks and cars and all the memories with them makes them friends and you hate to see them go.
That one never let me down, not really. I knew it was about to “die,” by which I mean develop a need for repair that would far outstrip its value. It was a great truck for a long time.
Rebirth doesn’t always require a new body. Better to shed the old skin and put it to rest. Leave it at the place where the truck died and move on while there is a spark left. Isn’t that what Christmas is? The solstice is about faith that the light and warmth will come back and its time to start celebrating their return.
Christmas is about the solstice, yes, or Christian doctrine piggy-backed upon it. Absolutely. Fire (light), greenery, grain god reborn in the spring (Easter!), etc. As for this location and the truck, getting out of here requires exactly that: leaving the old skin here and being born again.
I feel your sadness, my car passed on this Christmas also. It has put a hole in my heart for that was my wandering machine. Moving on, wishing you and your honey have a Merry Christmas and hope the New Year brings happiness and good health, and a new door to open!
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