I’ve been using these things since 1984, so I guess they owed me one. But here’s what happened when I took my MacBook (manufactured June, 2006) in to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store in Albuquerque.

First you have to know that I have absolutely flogged this thing. After two years of constant use, many of the plastic keys and the trackpad were worn smooth as glass. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, but the space bar key was sticking and nearly had a hole worn through it from repeated hits from the edge of my thumbnail. There were also tiny cracks around the edge of the top case, the result of hard use combined with a known manufacturing defect in these first MacBook models. I’d heard of people having much worse cracks and getting a new top case from Apple, but in this case the cracks were hardly even noticeable, and that wasn’t the point of my driving 2.5 hours in the rain. The sticking space bar key was, however.

I knew they wouldn’t give me a new battery. I know the right things to say to get the battery swapped out for free, but I just can’t lie, so bang, $137.50. I don’t really mind: I’m hard on laptop batteries, and it’ll be nice to get the full four hours of charge again. Besides, I figured the space bar key wouldn’t be much trouble, and I was right: the genius took my MacBook into the back, and 10 minutes later I had a WHOLE NEW TOP CASE w/ integral keyboard and trackpad for FREE! Apple must be replacing those old mid-2006 top cases with the cracks whenever someone brings an affected machine in for servicing. Hey, use any reason you want. I had to sign a paper acknowledging that the value of this replacement was $224, but they didn’t charge me anything, and what you’re reading now was typed on a brand-new keyboard.

Go in for a space bar key, come out with a new top case and keyboard for nothing. And no, this machine is no longer under warranty, nor do I have AppleCare.